If the latest PAD protests currently taking place at Suvarnabhumi International Airport are not enough to convince you to cancel your planned Christmas trip back home, then please read on. As the tourists get ferried by buses to Bangkok hotels now must be the time to accept that you will be better off staying in Thailand and kissing a Christmas cracker instead of pulling one .
The only hope of Suvarnabhumi airport returning to normal services literally lies in the hands of the PAD’s ageing protesters. When you are at an age where a weak bladder is considered a good bladder, the eventual blockage and flooding of the airport urinals should send the protesters fleeing outside for a breath of fresh air. Mind you those plastic clapping hands would probably make a good fist (sorry couldn’t resist it) of unblocking most toilets.
Do you really want to fight the Christmas crowds in the department stores, eat dry turkey for two weeks and discover that the cold weathers given you a nasty little rash that a soi dog would be ashamed of. There will be no ” Khopkhun krap ” for the ten baht you mistakenly give to the carol singers, only a “You daft bat, what the hell is that,” at the end of a mouthful. Do you really want to bite into your sausage roll and listen to the tale of Uncle Tom’s latest hip replacement, get asked to feel Aunt Enid’s new dentures and hear your sister moan about the cold wind playing hell with her hair extensions. If you are still determined to make the seasonal flight back home then keep your fingers crossed that Suvarnabhumi airports water supply is ice cold, and the elder PAD protesters cannot keep their legs crossed for to long.
Take your pick, put on your wellies or pick up the beach towel.
You can always get merry on the Christmas sherry or wine and dine in . the warm sunshine.
A runny red nose or sand between your toes
Hot mince pies or sun in your eyes
Frozen nuts or monkey nuts…… the choice is yours.
If all the above has failed to convince you, then your hopes of a fun Christmas frolicking with family and friends rest firmly in the hands of the older PAD protesters and in the passage I have copied from Wikipedia.
“In anatomy, the urinary bladder is a hollow, muscular, and distensible (or elastic) organ that sits on the pelvic floor in mammals. It is the organ that collects urine excreted by the kidneys prior to disposal by urination. Urine enters the bladder via the ureters and exits via the urethra.”
Finally, if you do insist on taking your flight then try to avoid wearing anything red, a Manchester City football shirt or your favourite ” I’m a Isaan Man ” t shirt, you wouldn’t want to upset all those old people again would you. Hoo Don
Credits
Photograph Beach Girl © Evgeny Kan | Dreamstime.com
Photograph Passport © Davinci | Dreamstime.com
Photogragh Winter © Helen Panphilova | Dreamstime.com
© 2008, Martyn. All rights reserved.
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Option three is kissing that Christmas cracker AND pulling one, but gentle sweet and respectful as Thai girls are, they do have a fierce reputation in certain circumstances. Where was it I read about a certain part of the anatomy floating away into space tied to a Loy Krathong hot air balloon, so that it’s previous owner had no chance of recovering it in time for reassembly? I’m ok though. Early on I was informed that no such thing would happen to me should I ever be tempted to misbehave. She would never be so cruel. On the other hand, she did smilingly warn me that she would first eat the hottest Pappaya salad that had ever been made, before ……..
Ouch.
Interesting if somewhat painful point. Maybe on the morning after Loy Krathong there was a dog wandering about with a balloon hanging out his mouth thinking “I thought the Thais were bad enough, but them farang put chillies on everything”. Cheers Pete.
my flight was pulled but i have the choice to fly later this month with my wife and son to udon thani
iam not going to as i dont wont to be stuck in the new year trying to get back home what with rumors of taksin not far offshore i fear trouble and more trouble
i would not rule out a full civil war when the king god bless is sole finally moves on
i just booked for april hopefully they will not ruin that for us